Control

I am fairly competitive, controlling, Type-A, whatever you want to call it. Growing up we were all competitive. So much so that when I ended up playing against my sister in a tennis tournament, my mother sat in the exact middle of the seats, didn't cheer at all, and left before the final point was played, because she didn't us to think she chose sides, because it was not a friendly match by any means.
So when I found running it came as a relief that I had found a sport where I didn't have to worry about winning. It was just something I could do for me. It's a great way to forget about whatever happened at work, because when you're 3 miles into a run on a nice day everything else sort of fades away.
Of course training for this marathon has made my Type A personality show through again. When I trained for Nashville in 2004, my goal was to finish. To simply make it through all the training runs and to cross the finish line. When I started running the half marathons I've been running recently, I had similar goals. But one after another I started comparing times. And now I find myself striving for a sub-5 hour marathon in D.C.
Of course to a lot of runners five hours is forever. I am of course, slow. And I have no problem with this, since in the end I'm only out there for myself. To prove that I can run another 26.2 miles. To get that medal that reminds me when you put your mind to it, nothing in life is out of reach. And to prove that I can do this under 5 hours.
Two weeks ago I ran my first 20 miler of this training season. It did not really go as planned. It took me about 4:15. Which was a huge let down considering I hoped to finish it under 4 hours, which would put me on pace to finish the marathon in my goal time. Granted the course we ran is fairly hilly. And it's still kind of toasty around here not to mention humid. But it's still disappointing.
I keep being reminded that race day is different. The adrenaline of all the other runners and of all the training paying off, kick in and put you in a different mind set. I certainly hope that's true. I'd hate to come back from D.C with a medal and a lot of disappointment.
This week I have a 12 mile run and the following week another 20 miler. I hope that one goes better. Four more training weeks until the Marathon!